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The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and
goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to
see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but
you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter,
sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.
I sure
hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test
as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest,
but the test is only three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next
day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up,
and says, "Now
that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell
me your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days
in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that
one is easy.
That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest,
that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and
I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that
answer.
How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
How many seconds
in a year?
"Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, "but I
thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer
can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how
in Heaven's name could you come up with
twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January
2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was
not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit
for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell
me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St.
Peter"
"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers
to my first two questions, but just how in the
world did you
come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest
replied. "I learnt it from the song...
"ANDY WALKS WITH
ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.
St. Peter
opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
"Run Forrest, run!"
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